There’s a joke that goes: what do you call 80,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Answer: a good start.
The same could be said of the firing of all 88 teachers at Central Falls High School in Rhode Island. The school is at the bottom of the educational 
Boo-hoo! We've been canned!
barrel, and the teachers got the axe for refusing to accept the requirements of a federal plan to fix failing schools that required a longer school day. (What—a longer school day with no additional pay??? Are you kidding???)
So one of the other options provided by the Department of Education was firing the entire staff (teachers, principle, guidance counselors, the whole kit and caboodle), and allowing them to re-apply for their jobs, although no more than half can be re-hired.
The howls and tears and overwrought speeches ensued. In a great piece of coverage that ran on Fox 25 this morning, one fired teacher identified as Patti Cuttle whimpered:
“I have no folders, I have no supplies, I have no words for word study.”
Excuse me, Patti? You need someone to give you words for word study? You can’t find any words on your own?
So as a service to Patti and the rest of the overworked, dedicated and now UNEMPLOYED teachers of Central Falls, I offer the following words:
Dictionary – this is a book where you could find plenty of words if you took a moment look. In fact there is probably one on your desk right now. (Oh sorry, it’s not your desk any more.)
Internet – This is a wonderful educational resource – loaded with free word lists and other cool teaching stuff. You probably have free access at your school. (Oh sorry, it’s not your school any more…By the way, a lot of people use the Internet to look for new jobs.)
VisualThesaurus – one of the greatest sites ever invented, packed with fantastic teaching aids and yes—word lists. By grade level even! It does cost like $2 a month, and I’m sure that’s a huge piece of your teaching salary. (Oh sorry, it’s not your salary any more.) Here’s a little sample for you: what do all of the following words have in common: slow, work-shy, indolent, otiose, slothful, fainéant? They’re all synonyms for LAZY.
I was pleased as pie and frankly surprised that our secretary of education, Arne Duncan, praised the decision. In fact it seems that everyone agrees this was the right thing to do, except for the teacher’s union and their union brethren.
“This is immoral, illegal, unjust, irresponsible, disgraceful and disrespectful,” said George Nee, president of the Rhode Island AFL-CIO.
Dude – great word list! And it was free!
